Define who you are before people do
Life would test the stuff you’re made of.
The world would ask you who you are and if you can’t define yourself, they’ll do it for you.
The first time I heard the phrase, “pull yourself to yourself”, the speaker was talking about keeping herself centered on her calling and never losing sight of her goal.
Then, I didn’t bother too much about the phrase because I knew that there was nothing in myself that could hold me up, it’s a miracle the phrase stuck to my subconscious. I was like a log that had been tossed into the cold icy ocean in the hope that she wasn’t heavy enough to sink, would drift with the current, and eventually be pulled out by someone who had a use for it.
I was (past tense) a people pleaser and just let anyone define the version of me that they experienced, I didn’t even bother putting up a fight. If you are or have been a people pleaser, you’ll understand that the insecurity keeps you in a loop of trying to break out of a version of yourself that you don’t like but being pushed back into it because you’re scared that people may not like that better version of you.
The thing is, life would test the stuff you’re made of. I remember a time when someone said, “When you’re ready for more, God will give you more.” Whenever you get to a point in life where you think you’re ready for more, life throws more at you, and then your test to prove that you actually deserve more begins. Will you prove that you deserve more or will you flop?
Let’s say, you say you’re ready for a relationship, life will throw one your way. If there’s nothing in you equipped enough to graciously handle it, it will end and you’ll have to repeat the cycle again until you get it right. If you say you’re ready for a job, life throws one your way and reveals to you either your lazy habits towards work or your good efforts. If you’re lazy, you’ll lose your job and you’ll have to repeat the cycle again until you get it right.
I said all that to say this. I recently hit the 100 subscribers benchmark on Substack (I know some of y’all have over 1000 subscribers, but hey I’m celebrating every win) and my first reaction was that of thankfulness. I was thankful to God because it’s He who gave me the increase, and I was thankful for the people who thought my work was worth reading.
After that, I became fearful. Was I ready for a platform? Do I really know who I am enough to not be influenced by people’s opinions? My people-pleasing background kicked in and I began to ask myself if I could meet the expectations of my subscribers by putting out content that they would constantly love. After that, I started to worry if I would put out content that met my expectations, and who God said I was.
Then I did something that made me realize that I was pulling myself to myself. I reminded myself of who I was. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still nothing in myself that can hold me up. More like I reminded myself of whose I was instead of who I was. I was Christ’s’ and He is my solid rock because I know the One who created me, I know who I am.
Till next time,
Love and Light.
