If I ever got flowers, I’d cry

3 min readMar 8, 2024

it’s me, not you

I think the only bouquet I’ve ever held is the one on my TV stand, which my mom bought for my apartment as a decoration.

Even the pink and red plastic roses stared mockingly at me as I sat opposite it with fried yam and a cold sachet of water watching cooey K-drama, as though daring me to bring home another flower better than it.

Photo by César Abner Martínez Aguilar on Unsplash

Not today, you dusty little flower. I used my toes to move the flower pot before setting down my phone in its place.

If I ever got flowers, I’d cry.

First off, I’m not your typical girl. I don’t fancy all those emotions happening within me when I like someone. I find them uncomfortable. I mean, I love when other people have them — the twinkle in their eyes, the awwwwwnnn moments, the way they blush at each other, the hugs, etc. But when I display such emotions, I cringe, badly.

Nobody talks about the traumatic experience of unrequited affection. That is, liking people that don’t like you and not liking people that actually like you. That has been my experience my whole life, it’s little wonder my mates got chocolates and flowers but here I was 😒.

Sigh, in the k-drama I’m watching, the female lead was running to go meet her friends when she accidentally tripped and fell on the male lead. This sent both of them crumbling to the floor and of course, she spilled her food everywhere and he hurt his arm. Stereotypical, that’s why I love K-drama.

My yam had run out and I picked up my sachet water, tore a little piece off the edge, and drank. After I had squeezed the last drops of water from the crumpled sachet, I heard my phone ring. I already knew who it was — Mia, with the onion boyfriend. He always made her cry but when I advised her to end things with him, she got defensive and asked me who I thought would love her with all her baggage.

No, I wasn’t going to deal with your tears mia, not today. If you wanted better for yourself you would have left a long time ago.

I got up and headed to the kitchen to dump my plate in the sink. That’s one of the joys of living alone- you get to do things when you want to.

These movies make redamancy so easy. Like, do you know what it takes to find someone who reciprocates your affection in the way you would want them to?

I remember my last almost-talking stage. I went out to buy suya that evening when I heard angry voices in a near distance. Walking beside the commotion, I saw a black fat woman holding the shirt of a light-skinned 20-something-year-old man. The difference is their skin tones were beautiful to behold, my photographer friends would love them in the same picture. He looked Igbo, there’s just a look about them.

Both kept screaming at the top of their voices about some stolen money. I walked past, still looking at the commotion, and I bumped into someone.

K-drama mode activated.

We both looked up at the same time and there was a connection. These things are so fickle in my opinion. Long story short, He took my number and proceeded to call me the following day.

Nop, it didn’t even proceed to a talking stage. We didn’t share the same values.

I think it’s a mysterious thing, redamancy.

So if I ever got flowers, I’d cry because the stars did align and finally grant me a love returned in full.

Hello guys,

Do tell me if you liked my write-up. I’ve thought about story telling and I had to give it a try. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer, this is a fictitious story.

Till next time,

Love and light.




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