Keep Struggling!
“The day you stop struggling and accept things that are inconsistent with what you want out of life is the day you accept defeat.”
He didn’t say these exact words but it really hit me hard. Never stop struggling.
Your progress may not seem obvious to you now, but if you keep struggling long enough, you would see growth.
Let’s say you struggle with an addiction that eats you up from the inside out. You hate it so much and you try severally to quit. The first time you tried to quit, you lasted only three days before you fell back into the habit.
You grilled yourself for falling but still mustered the courage to try again. This time, you lasted two weeks before relapsing. Each time you relapsed, you thought to yourself “I’m better than this”.
You struggled each day and it was a hard thing to do, but you kept at it even if you relapsed, knowing that you would defeat the habit.
And so you try again. This time, you went two months before relapsing. If you grill yourself each time you relapse, you aren’t going to make it to overcome this habit. But if you look back on the growth during the time before each relapse, you’ll find out that you were making consistent progress.
The fact that you fell, even after being consistent for three weeks, or six weeks, or even six months, doesn’t make you a failure. You become a failure when you stay down and choose not to get back up.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall”. — Confucius
Many times, struggling can be seen as an unpleasant thing you don’t want in life. I mean, if you struggle at something, doesn’t it mean that it isn’t meant for you?
Recently, I had wanted to give up on something because I was struggling so much at it. You might be thinking I was struggling for something great, but no, I was struggling with learning how to communicate with people.
I always kept to myself growing up, so my communication with people was so limited, I didn’t know what to do or say after pleasantries were exchanged.
I hated to speak in group settings and individual basis. This was terrible for me because I couldn’t cultivate deep relationships with people and made them think I was shallow and had nothing to offer.
I joined a service unit at my church, I joined a hangout group, I went to places I was invited to and I opened up myself to know people and be known. So far, it has led me to make meaningful connections with three people. That’s progress, in retrospect to where I was before.
Lately, I closed off. I stopped participating in our group chat, and I avoided gatherings. I was tired of the effort I constantly had to put in. I just wanted to shut the world out with everyone in it because it was such a struggle for me to put myself out there.
Why not stay where I’m comfortable, instead of seeking painful growth?
The only reason I didn’t do that was because of the progress I had achieved while struggling. I had made meaningful deep connections with people! That mattered more than my struggles.
I let myself know that I would not always be where I am. If I kept up with the struggles, in two years, I might be a wonderfully skilled communicator but if I stopped giving in to the struggles, I’ll remain right where I am today.
If you struggle with addictions, keep struggling. If you struggle with bad habits, keep struggling. If you struggle with learning, keep struggling. If you’re struggling through a breakup, keep struggling.
Don’t let go, because letting go means you accept defeat. It is in doing the hard things that we find growth.
Till next time,
Love and Light.
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