You Settle for What You Think You Deserve

Passiveobservher
3 min readMay 8, 2024

The thing you literally beg someone to do for you, they would gladly do for someone else even without the person asking.

Hard truth.

Photo by Zohre Nemati on Unsplash

It happens in the corporate world too. You settle for a job that is way below your skill level and underpaying too because (shoulder shrug), you’re just two years out of school and the economy is difficult, who else would give you a decent job?

Have you ever felt cheated when someone with the same education and skill set as you gets the same job, but with a much higher pay? When you asked them how they did it, they tell you they simply didn’t accept the pay the company was offering and negotiated a new pay. They know their value.

we settle for things we don’t fully accept because we think that’s the best we can get.

I mean, If you’ve suffered tragedy in relationships and finally get a partner who loves God and is faithful but emotionally unavailable or inconsistent with you, you are likely to think it’s a great deal.

I had an experience where I really liked someone that I thought liked me back, but their character toward me was indifferent (don’t ask me any questions if you know me in real life). I would constantly reach out to this person and wanted my efforts to be reciprocated. It wasn’t. So whenever my heart would want to reach out, I would say out loud, “You are not attention-starved, you are loved at home and by many people”. Reminding myself of my value constantly helped me not to settle for something I didn’t deserve, and I stopped reaching out.

Don’t ever forget this phrase, “If He wanted to, He would” (and vice versa) when next your brain tries to make an excuse for someone’s inconsistent behavior.

This made me wonder why people settle for things they don’t deserve.

I saw this and thought it was the perfect answer:

We sometimes eat lies when our hearts are hungry.

Desperation (and trauma) always reduces discernment. When we are too eager to get something, we often settle for whatever is thrown our way that looks like what we want.

And trauma? Trauma distorts the lens people use to see the world. You don’t see things as they should be, You see it how other people have painted it to be.

I mean, try being jobless for three years with constant banter from your relatives about getting a job. You might take the first job offered to you even if you are 10x more qualified for it.

Another reason people settle for less is because they don’t know who or whose they are. What if you got to know that you’re the daughter of a king? (I can only speak in female so please add the vice versa) You belong to Christ Jesus and you don’t deserve any less.

If only you knew how much you’re loved by God and the measure of love from God’s standard, you would never settle for an abusive or emotionally distant partner.

This is such a broad topic and I only scratched the surface but I’m glad you stayed till the end.

So yes, Whenever your heart is craving for something that your head knows you don’t deserve, say out loud, “I am loved by God and God will provide the right thing for me at the right time”.

Till next time,

Love and Light.

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Passiveobservher

Welcome to my medium page, I'm genuinely glad to have you here. I just began writing recently with hopes of sharing knowledge with you.