You’ve always been in love, you just didn’t know it

3 min readSep 14


Is love deeper than feelings?

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

Have you ever been in love?

Love, one of the most misused words in language history. It can be attributed to anything and everything. You say you love your spouse, but you also loved the comfortable sofa you sat on, the tasty smoothie you just had, and your pet alligator. “I love this chair!”. “Ooooh, I love this smoothie”. “I have a pet alligator, and I love him to pieces”.

You’ve probably met someone who claimed they’ve never been in love before, but how true is that?

If you ask someone when they realized they were in love, they would probably respond with: “When I started getting butterflies”, “When I felt what I had never felt before”, or “Whenever they were around, my heart skipped a beat”.

How much does love have to do with feelings? I don’t think it’s a lot. Have you ever been so interested in someone else’s life that you want the best for that person? You made a conscious decision to make sure that person had all they needed, was happy, and fulfilled their purpose in life.

If your answer is yes, congratulations, you’ve been in love before, even though the person might be your best friend, sibling, child, mentee, or parent. If you’re like me who annoys everything out of their sibling but still goes back to help them with everything the next day, you have a glimpse into what love is.

Love is kind, love is patient, love does not envy, Love is not rude, Love forgets people’s wrong, love is not selfish, and love never gives up on people.

Love is never a force that takes hold of you against your will or participation. You are more than your feelings.

Love is not the absence of reason, you can think reasonably when you’re in love.

Feelings may not last through the years but love will. Love is not temporary or transient. Feelings and emotions are fluid, love is solid. Feelings and emotions come and go, but love lasts forever. Feelings and emotions are unpredictable but love is stable. Love can grow, can be sustained and nurtured.

Feelings in Love are very valid and I wouldn’t advise anyone to get into a relationship with someone they don’t have feelings for, but if you build on feelings instead of a conscious decision to choose that person every day, you’re building a shaky foundation.

Strong feelings and emotions fade. The question is, when they do, will you still have value and reasons to pursue or sustain your affection for this person? Christ’s love for the church is a great example of a love that never ends despite the wrong done.

Feelings would not always be there but I hope that when they aren’t, you’ll choose to act in accordance with what love truly is.

I would like to know what you think love is, Do tell me in the comments.

credit: In pursuit of the one by Tolulope Oladupo




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